Kate

My man has this friend. Kate.
Kate as in Shakespeare’s Kiss
Me, Kate as in K plus infinity
flipped on its head. K8.
Kate smokes Kools. Kate wears
biker boots but owns no
Harley. Kate dyes her hair
Kool-Aid colors. Some say
Kate looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
They call her Catherine Zeta-Kate.
Kate calls herself the magazine
model who plays in the sandbox
with the other retards. Kate likes
Black Sabbath and Dr. Demento.
Kate likes to drink. When Kate
drinks too much, her dad comes
and picks her up. Kate wants
to open a bar called The Drunken
Monkey. Kate wants to be a marine
biologist. Kate took a job answering
telephones after college. That’s where
Kate met my man. Kate used to
eat Taco Bell and watch cartoons
with my man. Kate still calls
and yells his name on the answering
machine. Kate gives it too many
syllables. Kate gives him Hindu
finger-puppets and Libertarian pins
on special occasions. Kate likes
to tell my man he isn’t Kate’s type.
Kate sleeps with blonde boys named
Tod. Kate has a turtle named
‘Shroom. Kate needs to break free from
Kate’s own shell. Kate says
Kate has all the time in the world.